Emmys Recap!

I had planned to live blog last night’s Emmy but, who am I kidding, it wouldn’t have been worth the bother so I figured I would just take some notes during and provide a little written re-cap. I’m sure by now you have seen every god damned photo taken from last night anyways so a gallery is pretty much pointless and I think we all know by now I’m waaaaay too lazy to do all that uploading.

First things first, I think Jane Lynch did a great job, my only complaint is that I don’t feel like we saw nearly enough of her! The opening singing/dancing number was drawn out but that was also to be expected and I really can’t stand musicals and loathe the show Glee, so I’m not going to inflict to much of my personal preference on things there. For what it was, it was done well.

Things I don’t need at my Emmy awards? LMFAO dutch house shit show blasting over a Montage. Jesus.\

Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are both lame so its fitting they cam out together first to present. get it over with and move on but in the end the simulated gay sex on stage wrestling match made it all worth while.

Julie Bowen = Worst acceptance speech ever. I mean fuck, you’re nominated, that means you MAY win. Prepare a bit, god.

Jane Krakowski should have won supporting comedic actress, so I call a little bit of bullshit on Julie Bowen for that as well. I think she deserved to win after 5 amazing seasons as the completely insane Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock.

Will Arnett + Zooey Deschanel presenting together = Will Arnett being funny and Zooey Deschanel being not funny. Here’s hoping her new show New Girl lasts more than one season (it won’t)

Best joke from Jane Lynch: Welcome back to the Modern Family Awards!

Appearance by Charlie Sheen was a surprise.  He actually looks completely together. His well wishing was heartfelt during the best lead actor nominations and Louis CK looked a little genuinely sad when they cut to him as he lost (as he should).

Robe and Lowe and Sophie Vergara could oficially blow Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie out of the water with their combined good looks and should start making sex to each other pronto.

All the ladies nominated for Best Actress getting up on stage together while their nominations were called was one of the best awards moments ever.  Melissa McCarthy looked like she was gonna fucking faint during her acceptance speech and the beauty queen crown and roses was an adorable touch.

The Office Montage featuring a variety of actors from a variety of shows classic and the scene of Jesse from breaking Bad dropping a big package of meth off was priceless. Mariska Hargitay was pretty good too and I gotta hand it to Kim Kardashian for not taking herself too seriously and poking fun at herself because sometimes I wonder if doesn’t actually realize what a fucking joke her “career” is.

A whole god damn section on reality TV. this is what thinks have come to. Jesus Christ.  If it were up to me? toddlers and Tiaras would take catagory.  If they really wanna make the reality competition of the show fair, they should start giving an award for best writer on a reality series.

You like what I did there, don’t you?

Lonely Island as the musical guest was SO good. I was expecting Lady Gaga or something equally fucking stupid. What a nice surprise. Who knew Michael Bolton had such a good sense of humor. and the only time I will tolerate Akon is with Lonely Island.

Okay, I admit it, I was amused by Jimmy Fallon’s slow clap when he lost. Jimmy Fallon made me laugh, mark this day on your calendar, folks.

Jon Stewart co signed my Rob Lowe and Sophia Vergara comment during his acceptance speech and rightfully so.


John Cryer and Ashton Kutcher presented the first round for Drama. they have no chemistry together and aren’t funny. Two and Half Men, you have some hard work ahead of you. I hope you are prepared.

I don’t know who Margot Martindale is but she won Best Supporting Actress in a Drama and pretty much lost it and it was kinda touching, I gotta say.

Martin Scorcese won for Best Director for a Drama thanks to Boardwalk Empire. Seriously, how adorable is this dude? Id take him for a walk on a Sunday afternoon in the park.

HOW AWESOME WAS IT THAT PETER DINKLAGE WON???? My ice cold heart melted when he held up the Emmy!! Vive la little people!

Bryan Cranston + Katey Holmes = oddest presenting coupld ever. What the fuck?


I don’t watch entourage because it is pretty much the most repetitive show on television (see here) so I was unaware of the amount of weight Jerry Ferrara had lost until he came out with the cast to present. I don’t know if he is on the Lindsay Lohan Diet or what, but whatever he is doing, it’s working, I’d hit it.

The Canadian Tenors, who sang the Memoriam song basically made me embarrassed to be Canadian, so thanks to them for that. Seriously, whoever came up with the idea to book those guys better start cleaning out their desk, cause they are gonna get fired.

Kate Winslet won Best Supporting Actress in a Something or Other and I swear to god she is so likeable is makes me sick.

Mad Men won best drama again, surprised, not surprised.

Last, and certainly least, why the fuck was Gwenyth Paltrow there presenting the last award of the night? the teleprompter went down and shes a fucking actress and she couldn’t improvise something more entertaining than “Here are the nominees for Best Comedy” ? Honestly.

All in all pretty much what I expected. I guess I’m gonna have to start watching Modern Family considering all the brainwashing I went through last night and if you made it through all this written drivel than hats off to you, madam or sir.

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