I don’t drive. Actually I don’t even have a license let alone drive a car but if I did, you could bet your ass I would probably be arrested for driving my car drunk so it’s probably better for the safety of myself and others in the world that I stay the fuck off the road.

That being said, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be omitted from spitting some bullshit ass stroies and excuses to whatever cop happened to pull me over, in an effort to try to save my own ass but likely just dig myself into a deeper hole. Kinda like this shick here.

From http://www.thesmokinggun.com via http://gawker.com/

Early Saturday morning, a deputy with the Kendall County Sheriff’s Office spotted the 18-year-old Illinois woman’s car in a ditch off Route 71. “Upon further investigation,” the cop determined that Ornelas “was driving with no right front tire and was extremely intoxicated.”

According to a sheriff’s report, Ornelas offered an explanation, of sorts, for her erratic behavior:

“Ornelas advised that she was extremely upset with her boyfriend because she did not see the movie Twilight like they were suppose too.”

While missing a screening of “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I” can, understandably, put a fan into a tailspin, Ornelas’s excuse did not fly with cops, who charged her with DUI and unlawful consumption of alcohol by a minor.

Yeah you know what? Scratch that. I will pretty much use ANY excuse to justify whatever fucked up behavior I choose to get myself into on any given day but using sparkly vampires that look like they are gay is probably where even I have to draw the line.

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