American Chopper Drama/Jesse James Clings to Fame With Desperation

You know what used to be awesome about American Chopper? When they used to actually build motorcycles on the show. Yeah they still build bikes kinda, but the show seems to focus on watching Father Gorilla and Son Gorilla arguing while Mikey sits with his head in his hands to tries to distance himself from this mess by launching an art career and I don’t blame him one fucking bit.

That being said, I suppose took combination of lack of ratings (there’s a fucking surprise) or Jesse James trying to basically do anything to stay on TV for them to decide that they were gonna up the homo erotic drama they have going on at American Chopper and have a build off between Paul Sr, Paul Jr and Jesse James.

Naturally, they tried play up the drama on this, because that’s all this show is good for anymore and in my opinion it’s not even good for that.

From http://www.tmz.com

Jesse James is in a bike building war with the guys from “American Chopper” — and it’s getting so intense that Jesse claims things could get violent between him and Paul Teutul Jr.

The gear-heads are all at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas for a Discovery Channel event called “American Chopper Live: The Build Off” — airing live tonight (ED Note: last night) at 9pm ET.

James was setting up his big red machine today when we asked about the rivalry — and he told us, “The senior is cool but the kid’s like wound up tighter than a watch … I think he’s gonna want to fight me.”

TMZ.com also has a really lame video of Jesse James being, well, fucking lame before they revealed the bikes live on TV last night.

Some highlights (lowlights?) of the night:

-They had BUSH play on the live televised show last night. What the fuck is this, 1992? Who did Gwen Stefani pay off to make that happen?

-Jesse James was talking an INSANE amount of shit, like really too much and just being an asshole.

-I don’t know who the host was, I don’t care enough to google it but I would like to punch him in the face but Paul Sr asked him if he wanted to get knocked the fuck out and that was kinda awesome.

-Jesse James sounds like Garth from Wayne’s World when he talks and it’s hilarious

-Paul Sr came in third place and when they announced it no one cheered. Paul Jr ended up winning it overall. Yawn

IMO the best part of the show was when I saw the commercial for Charlize Theron’s new movie Young Adult.

Regardless they may as well start shooting the entire show in that everything-is-softly-mysterious-yet-romantic film and lighting they use for telenovelas because this shit is turning into a soap opera set in a mechanics shop.

The only way things could get interesting from here is if Paul Sr’s secret twin brother showed up at the family reunion or Grandma Teutul mysteriously came back from the dead or Mikey gets amnesia and doesn’t know who he is and comes back as a new personality and has an affair with Paul Jr’s hot wife or Paul Sr fakes a pregnancy.

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