Simon Cowell Needs to Put That Away:


Simon Cowell was seen in Barbados this week rocking nothing but pair of white shorts, and boy do we regret him doing so. Seen romping around the beach like he’s the hot shit, the 54-year-old put his hairy pecks on display for the entire world. Can someone please get this man a chest wax so we’re not left with a mental image of his nasty hair halls that reside under those hot pants.

Although Daily Mail notes that Simon is rumored to have drafted a pre-nuptial agreement and buying a wedding ring for his preggo girl-friend, she was no where in sight when Simon was photographed on the beach.

Maybe Simon is just living in the past, but someone needs to sit him down and attack him with wax before we’re all unable to erase these images from our memory.

Excuse me while I go bleach my eyeballs.

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