Top Ten V For Visor

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The mysterious exotic beauty that is responsible for leaking the phone call that forced LA Clippers owner, Donald Sterling, out of the NBA and slammed him with a $2.5 million fine, is named V. Stiviano. And the only thing more mysterious than her fake ass name is the fact that she is spending her entire 15-minutes of fame hidden behind a full-face visor. Even is she looks like the newest member of Daft Punk, you gotta hand it to the girl, she works the f*** out of that damn thing. Why more celebrities that constantly b**** about the endless flashes of paparazzi cameras haven’t invested in similar fashion accessories is beyond us, for that shit only costs $12.95 on Ebay. Here is V. Stiviano going about her daily activities accompanied by some quick facts about the self-proclaimed “philanthropist.” 

10. Note to self: when I’m rich and famous for doing nothing someday, please piss off the paps by wearing a full-faced visor while making my posse wear hats with my name on them. 

Team V. Stiviano steps out for dinner at Pips on La Brea

9. F*** it though- I’ll wear a hat with my name on it too. That way people will have no trouble deciphering who it is behind my reflective VISOR!

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8. If you think going about your daily activities will be more challenging with your face covered? B****, you thought wrong. Here’s V for Visor casually getting into the Ferrari purchases for her by Donald Sterling:

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7. She continues to go about her business by handing her keys to her [newly hired] assistant to have her car washed, all while carrying a $80,000 Birkin bag. 

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6. Coincidentally, Sterling and Stiviano both attended Roosevelt High School in Eastern LA, but graduated 48 years apart. Here’s V. demonstrating to all of us how visors can still be fashionable.

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5. According to her former high school gym teacher, Stiviano got implants at age 17. Here she is roller blading, visor in tow. 

“‘I remember she told me she was thinking about having one done. Then a few months later I was talking to another teacher and Vanessa comes running over, she was like “Coach Cid, coach Cid, I’ve got my boobs done.”‘

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4. Stiviano has always fancied the finer things in life, even though she comes from a rough background. Stiviano was also rumored to have been a stripper sometime in high school, according to the same source. Here she is practicing her “philanthropist” ways while giving a homeless dude $40 while outside of a nail salon.

“‘But after she graduated I heard she had been working as a stripper and it all made total sense.

‘She wasn’t from a wealthy family and she was very independent, she made her own decisions in life.'”

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3. V. legally had her named  legally changed from Vanessa Perez for some shady reasons. Here’s a shot from her Instagram, looking as fierce as humanly possible while wearing a visor.

“Giving a reason for the name change Stivano claimed in the court papers she hadn’t ‘yet been fully accepted because of my race.'”

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2. The reason for which she has not been “racially accepted” are even more jacked up.

“Court papers show Stiviano legally changed her name in 2010 from Maria Vanessa Perez, citing as her reason: ‘Born from a rape case and haven’t yet been fully accepted because of my race.'”

Screen Shot 2014-05-02 at 9.36.31 AM1. It’s clear that V. Stiviano is aware of the fact that she is experiencing her 15-minutes of fame. And while she might be hiding behind a visor for the duration of it- we’re happy she’s still a stunt queen about it. Here is Stiviano treating the paps to the spectacle of her walking her pet turtle before retiring for the evening in her $1.8 million condo in LA. 

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