Top Ten Blohan Was Schwasted Last Night


Seen above wearing a dress that looks like it was salvaged half-way through a paper shredder, Blohan has clearly relapsed during her stay in the South of France for the Cannes Movie Festival this week. Even more reason to believe hat she’s hit the bottle again? We’ll give you ten. Here’s Top Ten Blohan Was Schwasted Last Night.

10. Lindsay Lohan attended a VIP party in the South of France last night.

We know what you’re thinking- who in their right mind would invite Blohan to a VIP party? We’re guessing her vagina got her in.


9. Before we go any further- we’d like to address our first and foremost issue: 

God have mercy on these heels.

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8. Looking like a retired porn star, Lindsay Lohan, made her grand entrance.

Complete with a busted weave and leather minidress.


7. Inside the lounge, 

“The starlet spent most of her night flitting between the Dj booth and her VIP area while fans took snaps on their mobile phones.”

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6. So hammered in fact…

Shit started getting a little weird when she started to dance with her brother, Michael.

blohan7At first we were relieved-

When it was clear he wasn’t really into it.


5. But then all of the sudden he was.

And shit started getting even weirder.

“The actress stayed close to her 25-year-old sibling as they laughed and danced along to the beat.”


4. Although the borderline incestuous encounter was only brief.


The incident will never be forgotten.


3. Later on, Blohan had a chance to have a shout-out to the crowd. 

“Lindsay was also seen with singer-songwriter Jean-Roch, founder of the Vip Room, before she took the mic from him and said a few words to the crowd.”

We’re almost certain she shouted her motto “I’M SOBER, GUYS!!!” into the microphone before having it swiftly taken away.


2. And after the party- Blohan left with Michael.

And we questioned even more what’s in that water bottle she’s holding.


1. Just another day in the life…


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