Top Ten Ryan Gosling Impregnated the Wrong Girl

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Twenty-minutes ago marks the first that I’ve stopped crying since discovering that Eva Mendes is pregnant with Ryan Gosling’s baby. After days of watching Sex and the City re-runs alone and blubbering into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, I woke up today feeling like a whole new woman.That was until a forensic artist took the initiative of generating pictures of what their tot might look like. (See: below.)

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Here’s Top Ten Ryan Gosling Impregnated the Wrong Girl:

10. Upon finding out that Ryan Gosling sperminated Eva Mende’s uterus, many of us quickly began to question life:

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9. It really wasn’t Ryan that broke our heart by such betrayal, as it was Eva’s.

(It’s all Eva’s fault.)

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8. Naturally, everyone on Twitter was power-pissed:

Neither have we, sweetheart.

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7. And threatening to take action:

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6. We all emphasized for Ryan’s one and only TRUE LOVE:

It’s NEVER too late, Rachel.

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5. Some went as far as to compliment the damn-embroyos good looks:

DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM!!!

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4. We might not be so angry if this weren’t so selfish of him:

Like of all the women in the world- his first pick obviously should have been me, then maybe Rachel McAdams.

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3. We’re actively researching starting a support group:

Because this struggle is too real. 

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2. Even damn Buzzfeed was at a loss as to how to react:

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1. Rest in Pieces, our broken hearts:

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