Top Ten Lay Off the Burgers, Kate Upton

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Have you ever been tanning at the beach with a friend that’s so pale that if you positioned their tanning reflector board directly towards the sun, it might implode? That’s Kate Upton at the beach. Kate celebrated her 22nd birthday in Cancun, Mexico this Tuesday with her piece, Justin Verlander by demonstrating to all of us the true-power of photoshop (see: above). The untouched photos proved that Kate isn’t too easy on the eyes without the editors at Sports Illustrated. But at least her tits still look decent, right?

Here’s Top Ten Ew, Kate Upton:

10. So Kate looked pretty good Tuesday… When laying down:

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9. Her piece was seemingly into it, even though she looked like melting vanilla ice-cream while basking in the sun:

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8. We mean, he was really into seeing if she’d jiggle when he poked her:

Please don’t.

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7. Then she turned over:

Is that the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

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6. And we realized what the photo-shoppers at Sports Illustrated must have to deal with every time Kate makes an issue:

You can’t fix this.

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5. She almost kind of fell over:

Like a turtle who was turned over on his shell, unable to roll over. 

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4. For once, her inflated- titties didn’t look so sloppy:

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3. And before she stood up we saw an angle of her we never really wanted to see:

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3. Then she stood up:

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2. And moseyed off, hopefully to apply some Aloe Vera:

Its obvious she’s one of those white girls that doesn’t tan so much as burn.

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1. All before revealing the money-shot:

Crispy…

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