Top Ten Selena’s 22nd

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You know what’s a lot more interesting than pictures of Selena Gomez celebrating her 22nd birthday? We’ll name ten.

Here’s Top Ten Selena’s 22nd:

 

10. Selena Gomez celebrated her birthday this weekend in St. Tropez with a bunch of random f***s. 

What’s not interesting: The attendees to her birthday celebration was her new piece Tommy Chiabra, and random as-f***-new-BFF, Cara Delevigne.

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What’s more interesting:

A brat teenager who once sued her own parents for neglect after she ran away with her boyfriend that they no longer wanted her to see is now countersuing that said boyfriend after he “choked her in a fight.” 

This bitch.

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9. Selena was practically fully clothed:

What’s not interesting: Birthdays are for birthday suits. At least Cara kind of gets it.

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What’s more interesting: A 26-year old died while digging a tunnel in the sand on a Francis State Beach, CA.

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8. Cara Delevigne can work a life-jacket. 

What’s not interesting: What supermodel can’t work a life-jacket?

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What’s more interesting: More evidence of looting following the MH17 crash becoming more damning as relatives of the passengers that died say that their loved-ones phones are being answered by Eastern Europeans.

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7. Selena Gomez’s piece brought an obnoxious yellow towel:

What’s not interesting: Towels.

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What’s more interesting: The secret rules you must abide if you sell your soul to disney.

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6. They canoodled under the stupid yellow towel:

What’s not interesting: Towels.

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What’s more interesting: A lady got impaled on a cemetery fence.

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5. Parasailing was involved:

What’s not interesting: Why aren’t you b****es getting drunk?

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What’s more interesting: These inspiring teenagers who were in a freak-parasailing-accident.

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4. The paps managed to get a shot of their asses. 

What’s not interesting: White girl booty parasailing.

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What’s more interesting: Indian parents facing charges for attaching an infant to a damn paraglide. Only in India, right? (Video highly suggested.)

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3. Selena rode on a jet ski with her gumpy boyfriend:

What’s not interesting: They’re both so dumb they should be wearing helmets.

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What’s more interesting: This picture of a pug riding a jet ski. (Not news).

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2. Cara Delivigne and Selena showered together while Selena’s boy watched:

What’s not interesting: They’re wearing bathing suits.

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What’s more interesting: San Francisco renovated a bus to provide showers for the homeless.

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1. Selena seriously wore a damn one-piece while pretending to be into girls for a split second:

What’s not interesting: One pieces in their entirety.

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What’s more interesting: This. 

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