In Ariana Grande’s newest mess of a music video, Break Free, Ariana plays a sci-fi heroine who fights off evil aliens in outer space. We know, the only plausible explanation for all of this is that Ariana as well as the directors, writers, producers, and editors of this video must have been tripping their balls off when it was made. Because why else would they consider this a good idea?
10. The video begins with Ariana making her grand entrance.
9. All to save her alien friends that were being held hostage.
8. She confronts the dude holding them hostage by instigating a shoot-out.
7. Once this crisis was averted and her space-friends were free. Ariana begins to strip out of her space-gear in celebration.
All at zero-gravity.
6. But this moment of tranquility is quickly halted by more space-bullshit. By space-bullshit we mean a giant man-eating robot.
5. He was no match for Ariana’s rocket-titties.
We’d like to point out that this is not only unrealistic because we all know Ariana doesn’t even have regular titties to begin with.
As well as that this has already been done before by someone with titties…
4. After seemingly defeating the robot, Ariana was all like:
3. All before the robot came back to life, merked the shit out of her, and she ended up in some hellish dungeon.
2. But of course Ariana managed to break out of the chains so she could party with the creepiest looking space-elephants in the history of space-elephants.
1. It’s just all in a days work for Ari.
Kick your feet back girl, you deserve it.