It’s October Sluts!

Slutty Halloween

It’s time to think about what slutty costume you’re going to be for halloween, here are some ideas!


The classic Playboy Bunny

Playboy as a brand and publication may be totally dead in the water, but it’s never too late to pull up a pair of fishnets, suck your way into a tight one piece and rock those bunny ears. Just be thankful you don’t actually have to sleep with someone as old or dead as Hugh Hefner like most girls who have worn the bunny ears.




The Cop

I would not recommend a sexy cop outfit in this climate because most people fucking hate cops, however you can pull a viral stunt and pretend to shoot someone in a red hoodie and skittles in his pocket a la Trayvon Martin (RIP) but I guess thats asking for a #cancel, especially if the person is in blackface..




The Slutty Nun

You better go home and pray hard if you plan on dressing up as a slutty nun for halloween, especially on the one day that the VIEL to the underworld is lifted, this is like you’re inviting Jesus Christ to come and slap you for being sacrilegious. It’s also hilarious.




The Schoolgirl

Iconic, the ultimate go-to slutty halloween costume. Theres really nothing wrong with picking this as your costume except you may get confused for dressing as Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time, but thats also a win.




The Cheerleader

The cheerleader outfit usually comes in the form of a Skort so you’re looking at a bit of a safety net between you and the jocks that will be trying to rape you all night for dressing like a cheerleader.




The Clown

Remember when all those clowns were walking around at night scaring people and like killing people? That was not ok, but dressing up as this freaky clown for halloween is acceptable..




The Ref

The big upside to this costume is the thigh high socks, if you live in a cooler climate its easier to be a whore on halloween if your costume comes with thigh high socks, you legs won’t freeze but your buttonhole might.




Cultural Appropriation

It’s not ok to dress up as a fictional disney character anymore because its cultural appropriation you twat. Save it for the POW WOW! (kidding)




The Maid

Ok this one is a variation of the typical slutty maid costume in that it brings it to a whole other level of slutty, this is something you can really only wear to a weird swingers party on hallowen if you’re brave enough.





The Human Body

The costume I would recommend the most is this morphsuit of the human body, allowing you to be slutty, covered, kinda warm and also kinda gross all at the same time.


Happy Haunting !

Post Author: Montana Banks